Having self-doubt around your magic or “magic” in general, can feel like travelling around the world in quick-sand, or as though you are forever wearing a useless weight around your neck.
The source of the heavy, resistant burdensome feeling of self-doubt could be nothing in particular… Maybe it’s just our collective society's general scorn and aversion for magic, or perhaps its due to past actions gone wrong in the present affecting you from moving forward.
Either way the self-doubt just stays and hangs there. Weighing you down. Keeping you stuck. Killing your mojo… Of course, when you have the dead weight of self-doubt hanging upon you - it's hard not to despair, be depressed and continuously feel like a royal fuck up.
So how do you lift the killer curse of self-doubt?
A simple method that I recommend to all my clients is to keep a Magical Diary to track their magic.
In your Magical Diary, you record all of the details relating to your magic: synchronicities, insights, feelings, dreams, magic workings, astrology, rituals, mantras, repeating numbers and symbols - right after they happen or you do them - and then in subsequent days, weeks, months you then record the synchronicities you notice that appear to be signs of your intended and desired outcome arriving in the world. These signs are obvious because you as if by magic experience what you want in your life on purpose. Especially if you are doing actual magic.
Keeping a Magical Diary is a powerful practice for the same reason that keeping a Dream Diary is a powerful practice. It's powerful because our conscious, rational minds find it very, very easy to delay, dismiss and forget any meaning or magic at all… Just like the mind finds it very easy to dismiss and forget dreams. Just like how you probably don't remember your dreams when you wake up unless you make an effort to recall them and to write them down... Its common for us to react to our dreams like they are unimportant. The same thing with meaningful experiences.
You also won't remember the precise signs, synchronicities, actions and results of your magic, unless you write them down.
The practicality of the Magical Diary can generally be broken down into two important realms….
1. In the present where the act of writing the diary helps expand on, interrogate and integrate any insights, guidance and ideas which occur throughout the day/night.
2. In the future where the Magical Diary can provide as a valuable resource for your review, contemplation, past practices/divine messages/guidance/magical and ritual workings, the results of those practices and useful insights into your past self, and seeing how far you have come.
Once you've been keeping a Magical Diary for at least a few months, it becomes relatively easy to lift the self-perceived curse of your self-doubt, because you can go back, read, review and discover exactly the evidence that you are always guided and what you did to influence exactly what you wanted to experience as real outcomes in your life. Meaning you get to see what worked for you and what didn’t.
I wouldn't worry too much about making your journal magical, instead make your life magic and then document it in the journal as proof. Keep it up and you will find your notes inside rather illuminating years later. Over time, the efficacy of your magic power gradually becomes more and more difficult to deny just like when you write down an eye opening dream you had, that becomes impossible to deny too. ;)
Because of your efforts, the curse of doubt lifts, and you're now much more confident in the reality and usefulness of your own magical power and prowess. Enjoy the journey and if you persist in keeping up with this, you will eventually pass the veil which you can never return from.
If you know you want some extra love and hand-holding as we overcome the dark nights of the soul, you can learn more here and enroll.
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