this shit is bananas 🍌
The universe has been kicking my butt with a few areas of life lately ( ) and I know that it’s always towards my “personal growth and expansion” but the whole entire thing has seriously been getting on my nerves!
You can say I’ve been feeling extremely charged about it and at this point I’m tired of trying to come up with solutions.
Basically, all of a sudden in the past few months shit started feeling INTENSE and HEAVY, in relation to receiving new and odd symptoms from my body.
And considering I've been making any and all efforts both mentally and physically to figure out what has been going “wrong” for a while I was not seeing any improvements at all.
Which had me in all sorts of inner turmoil.
And that's crazy because in general my life is always blooming to higher levels of beauty, love and truth, and with all that blossoming in comes alll the illumination of my heavier hidden just under the surface stuff:
Stress, worry, loneliness, sadness, feeling like I have no time, like I'm doing it all myself, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, feeling protective but not protected and new awarenesses around new / old patterns that have been lingering silently making themselves known were coming in hot to teach me something.
And much like the stars in the heavens above and characters in melodramatic movies, dying patterns of behavior undergo a spasm of hyperactivity before they succumb once and for all...
Ever been there? Where you reach new levels (of being and thinking) but also feel like you have a hard time keeping yourself grounded, open hearted and trusting in the whole process, as you do it?
I for one have been having a hard time as you can tell with the physical (my body) and it’s for sure been impacting my thoughts (my mind) and energy levels (my soul). Repeating these dying cycles and patterns...
In fact this past week, there was a moment where I said to myself: "AHHHHH!!! I am SO over this for fuck sakes!!!" Which (un)surprisingly totally helped me big time and finally mentally, emotionally and physically get "on the other side", taking me there and making me an energetic magnet (for everything I've been so desperately needing to heal my symptoms).
Healing this time around has stretched and pulled me in so many new uncomfortable ways that as it turns out has helped me unify with my body even further AND with the present moment (you’d think I’d be over lessons like these…)
LOL
I wasn't missing anything in the grand scope or vision of my life, I was just missing what I needed right now (and that is what you need to know too). I just had to read what was right in front of me.
And that's the thing about tapping into your intuition (a.k.a. psychic abilities) and to be psychic is to be prepared to know the truth about all things (as you need to know it - because you will never be given the full picture at any time, just pieces at all times, which adds up).
My body was telling me the truth craved more nutrients from my food. Which led me to buying bio available natural supplements (liver, oysters, iodine, magnesium, fulvic minerals, cod liver oil, collagen, selenium - all recommended by one of my favorite internet soul sisters on IG: nutrition.elements aka kaleigh mason - been following her since jan 2020) and to incorporate consuming more essential fat's, heavy on the protein, more sacred foods, sacred fats, dairy, seafood, and bone broth, etc and aka real food). I'm a huge advocate for home cooked meals, but this is taking it up notch even for me.
My mind craved more safety, connection, protection, love, relaxation and to go extremely deep in my allowing for more support the kind I crave from my heart and soul. Which led me to learning about German New Medicine, practicing inducing my body on command to a relaxed state (from my OBE / dream yoga books), energetically practicing tapping (literally the tapping points) into my sense of being protected, safe, supported, imagining my life and reality being held safely in the hands of the holy mother, programming new affirmations into my mind and finally... to remind myself that NOTHING can harm me (like F1^3 G33) as long as I know I am ALREADY protected.
This ego crushing stuff has guided me to also REAAAALLLLYYY lean back and trust even FURTHER and to know that nothing else needs me more than I need me, first.
This experience has asked me for further devotion (aka. discipline) to everything I haven’t been doing and need to start.
It's like this... You know when you're driving and don't know how to get somewhere but know the general direction, then you suddenly hit a street and it's a dead end? That’s like when the body (or life) gives you certain messages. It’s like... Don’t go that way . And in these cases, there is usually only one way for you to go (polarity / duality) per your higher self - which is always the way you haven't gone yet. The key is uncovering what that is and doing it.
Examples:
When stressed, I can notice, shift and practice feeling supported and slow down.
When anxious, I can notice, shift and practice letting go and get out of the future and fears of it.
When lonely or unwanted, I can notice, shift and practice offering others love.
When sad, I can notice, shift and practice looking for the good / finding the light.
When carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, I can notice, shift and practice asking for help and lose my expectations of what is urgent to my ego and focus on what is necessary for my soul.
When I feel I haven’t done enough, I can notice, shift and practice knowing I am already enough and I don't have to do anything to continue to be worthy.
When defeated, I can notice, shift and practice knowing that everything is always adding up for my good.
When my body shows me symptoms, I can notice, shift and practice finding out what I have been thinking and feeling so that I can shift back and return to wellness.
etc. etc. etc.
If you felt these ways recently you’re not alone.
Things are being uncreated and are leaving.
And If you’ve ever been in this situation, where you feel like your being initiated and you need to calm down and move old energy, here’s what works for me:
Lots of water, prayer, magnesium, electrolytes, delicious nutritious home cooked meals, giving thanks before eating and actually feeling grateful for having such a beautiful and delicious meal. This helps you ground into your reality and also moves your energy to clear your field. A properly cared for body can move energy faster.
EFT, dancing, natural exercises, magnesium baths, magnesium lotion, incense, at home massages, and being the gentle observer of your life. More things you can do are: light work meditations and psychically protecting yourself. I've been gently reminding myself that my reality is protected by an egg of white light thats made of pure source love and pure source energy.
Treat the internet / phone / tech / computer somewhere that you GO / TRAVEL TO. Imagine this, when the internet or power goes out, you are thrusted and forced into the reality of your present moment. No more vicariously living through other people or checking out into tv. You were in and on now you're out and off. So this is where you practice doing things that are similar to what you’d be doing if the “internet / power were out” - like 'la dolce niente'. You can use it... but like think of it as though you're going there to do a thing (for me content creation, writing, posting, sharing, laughing at animal videos or hold my cosmo videos), and now you’re back home (chop wood carry water - "After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.” — this phrase stems from Zen Buddhism, emphasizing the need for committing to and thriving during the process in any pursuit). Basically honor yourself by giving space from the tech world, as best you can.
Give yourself massive grace and allowance. Give yourself full permission to fuck it up, get behind in housework, get behind in to do’s, make mistakes and to slow down, and say yes to what your soul is showing you and say no to what isn’t serving you. Like the kitchen doesn’t need to be sparkling clean for you to feel satisfied and content before you do something else. You can relax tonight and let it pile up and still feel satisfied and content because this time your honouring yourself, and experiencing all the flavours of life. Perfection doesn’t exist, but love and finding the good in all moments, does.
You are already protected. Act like it and watch your sense of peace unfold.
Romanticize your life. Make even the most mundane of days feel unique because they are what make up the majority of your life. (“You have to start thinking of yourself as the main character. Because if you don’t, life will continue to pass you by. And all the little things that make it so beautiful will continue to go unnoticed. So take a second, and look around, and realize that it’s a blessing for you to be here right now.” -- Ms Ward Tik Tok.) To romanticize means to “Make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is" and appreciating beauty and the little things. Here are some ways you can do that: really enjoy your morning routine (i have one that I love, and so sticking to it was rewarding), ditch phone for books, hobbies or quality time, listen to commercial free / mainstream free music (i listen to bassdrive - tues - rinse & wash radio by wadjit), clean up, dress in your favorite outfits, go outside, get fresh air and sunshine daily, move extremely intentionally (or super emotionally - balance). The book I'm reading (Body Keeps The Score) mentioned a great emotional support practice is caring for a horse each day, so make yourself that person who is caring for a horse, but let that "horse" be you, so to provide inner child care and self love to your day in a grounded manner.
Your teacher, guide,
and magical bodhisattva soul sister...
Tara x
p.s. If you have wanted to work with me on your life / mindset / goals / magic / soul / intuition, I am offering a special package, 8 weeks & 8 sessions for $1,500 (works out to be $187/week). You get access to all of my courses and guides + unlimited voxer messenger to text chat in between calls. After completion, if you choose to you can then continue working with me as your mentor on a month by month basis (4 weeks & 4 sessions per month + voxer) for only $555/month (works out to be $138/week). Message me for the application form / to see if you are a good fit.
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